Kafkaesque Dream
Yet another one of my dreams:
In South India, near sea shore, worn(?) giant.
If your eye does not believe, then it is your foe.
Indira Gandhi in Ontario.
Music plays. Some magazine about ears.
Ophelia or Orphelia, an ear doctor I’d gone to in Belgium (not really).
An empty presidential suite.
Time travel back to 1991; a military aerodrome. Fighting not always there. But when it happens some men might turn tail.
Seeing magazines in Presidential suite. Nice articles on (mirror? Music? …Illegible word.) Nice erotic pictures. Someone comes. Have to shut it off. Then S comes. I say, just to say something, that this is a nice magazine. He asks for a copy. I carefully give one not containing the erotic pictures. He asks why this one. I give him one picked randomly from a heap stashed nearby. I’m hating it all. I feel I won’t be again able to enjoy those magazines. Night comes. Dad comes. Asks what the matter is. I pretend everything is alright. But I’m pretty short with him. A city in Italy. Rome perhaps. Sunlight or moonlight (I’m not sure which) shining and breaking off the surface of the glittering water, and kissing the tops of houses. This is dad’s description. But I’m short with him. He’s hurt.
Residential complex. Practising football in my block. Football goes to ground. It’s wet because of the rain. I dribble. It goes to a corner of the football field in MIS. Hits a ****** clerk. A friend takes me over for protection…not to interfere with the fanatic. But I ridicule his religion. “I spit on *****, I spit on the *****.” He comes with a friend and gives me a note: “teri kadam kuchal diye jaenge” I still make fun of him. Then ****** clerk comes with another ****** clerk and both start clicking pictures of me. I am angry and shoot them down with a pistol, and smash the camera.
Hidden room…sunlight streaming in through open window. Doctor nearby and two witnesses ready to testify against my crime. I shoot them down, but not the doctor. Doctor gives me tablet. I know what it is, but gulp it down with glass of water. Tablet is sweet. I don’t resist enough and regret, because the doctor’s words are becoming fainter and fainter…”Now you are falling into a deep sleep.” I know it’s a sleep from which I’ll never wake and I try hard to resist, but keep yielding helplessly…and everything disappears….even the blackness…
In South India, near sea shore, worn(?) giant.
If your eye does not believe, then it is your foe.
Indira Gandhi in Ontario.
Music plays. Some magazine about ears.
Ophelia or Orphelia, an ear doctor I’d gone to in Belgium (not really).
An empty presidential suite.
Time travel back to 1991; a military aerodrome. Fighting not always there. But when it happens some men might turn tail.
Seeing magazines in Presidential suite. Nice articles on (mirror? Music? …Illegible word.) Nice erotic pictures. Someone comes. Have to shut it off. Then S comes. I say, just to say something, that this is a nice magazine. He asks for a copy. I carefully give one not containing the erotic pictures. He asks why this one. I give him one picked randomly from a heap stashed nearby. I’m hating it all. I feel I won’t be again able to enjoy those magazines. Night comes. Dad comes. Asks what the matter is. I pretend everything is alright. But I’m pretty short with him. A city in Italy. Rome perhaps. Sunlight or moonlight (I’m not sure which) shining and breaking off the surface of the glittering water, and kissing the tops of houses. This is dad’s description. But I’m short with him. He’s hurt.
Residential complex. Practising football in my block. Football goes to ground. It’s wet because of the rain. I dribble. It goes to a corner of the football field in MIS. Hits a ****** clerk. A friend takes me over for protection…not to interfere with the fanatic. But I ridicule his religion. “I spit on *****, I spit on the *****.” He comes with a friend and gives me a note: “teri kadam kuchal diye jaenge” I still make fun of him. Then ****** clerk comes with another ****** clerk and both start clicking pictures of me. I am angry and shoot them down with a pistol, and smash the camera.
Hidden room…sunlight streaming in through open window. Doctor nearby and two witnesses ready to testify against my crime. I shoot them down, but not the doctor. Doctor gives me tablet. I know what it is, but gulp it down with glass of water. Tablet is sweet. I don’t resist enough and regret, because the doctor’s words are becoming fainter and fainter…”Now you are falling into a deep sleep.” I know it’s a sleep from which I’ll never wake and I try hard to resist, but keep yielding helplessly…and everything disappears….even the blackness…
posted by changingsun at
12:48 PM
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